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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?